I've been wanting to get this out since I initially discovered it.  I've researched and typed up a statement so many times only to get angry or start crying and get overwhelmed with anxiety before I can finish.  I wanted to lay Piper to rest before I did, but that was a bigger challenge than I'd anticipated.  It's time.

In mid-February 2021, Piper Autumn Rivers (many of you knew her as Tegan Toxik or Tegan Last) attended a party here in Las Vegas, NV.  Also attending this party was the industry performer "Smash Thompson."  Being a party, Piper was under the influence and not in a state to give proper consent; yet Smash proceeded to orally sexually assault her.

I wasn't aware that this had happened, and as her partner, it eats me up inside that I didn't know and I couldn't help her...I thought that I'd missed something or just hadn't heard what she'd been telling me.  

A little over a month after that party, Piper took her own life.

It wasn't until after I accessed her phone weeks later and read through her messages, both with friends and directly with Smash, that I discovered that she'd been intentionally keeping it from me and that she had been hiding just how much she'd been affected by the event.

Piper had dealt with this kind of assault before; but in the years we've been together, we took care of each other and she'd been able to manage those struggles better.  And, while our lives weren't perfect, we loved each other, supported each other, and were able to make a better life together as a couple.  

Despite her history as a victim of sexual assault, this event was different...it was unexpected and a complete contrast to the life we were building after moving to Las Vegas.  This was someone in the industry, someone who was a friend, someone she had built up trust with and opened up about regarding her life and military career...something I couldn't fully connect with her on due to inexperience, but something that gave me relief when she found other veterans who could truly understand her and allow her to more comfortably express that part of her life.

As she started gaining more success and standing in our part of the industry - and was doing quite well - she was afraid that coming forward about what had happened to her could affect that success and her work and possibly shatter what she'd spent years and effort building.

Smash has never reached out to me, for any reason, following the assault, has failed to even comment on or provide a statement or condolences on Piper's passing, and has since blocked me on social media accounts.

I'll never fully know why she felt she had to make the choice she did in ending her life, and I think about it and miss her every day with every fiber of my being, but it's clear this assault had a negative impact on her mental state and surely had an effect of pushing her closer to the edge.  She was in pain and she was having a difficult time, but I can at least find some solace that I was so lucky to have her as one of the biggest and happiest parts of my life, and that she is at least free from her pain.